I had the strangest thought a few nights ago. I’d woken up in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep. My phone was right on my nightstand. It would’ve been so easy to quickly grab it and scroll through news articles or social media. It’s what I’ve done—against the advice of basically any studies on sleep hygiene—so many nights in the past to keep my mind busy until sleep finds its way back.

Instead I stared at the ceiling and thought, I like it here. In my brain. I think I’ll stay here a while. 

So I guess that’s why I’m here now, writing this email instead of posting on Threads or Instagram or my long-abandoned Twitter (X - whatever) account. A few months ago, I made the conscious decision to stay off social media because I missed feeling like my thoughts and headspace were mine. I’m speaking entirely for myself here, but for years now, I’ve been feeling like having an online presence—and the constant, 24/7 pull that comes with it—was taking up too much space in my mind, and not giving me enough nourishment in return.

Maybe I’ll go further into that some other time, but the main point is this: it hasn’t been an easy journey back here. To my brain, I mean. To actually wanting to sit with my thoughts. If I’m being perfectly honest, it’s not always a pleasant space. It’s anxiety-ridden, and prone to overthinking and rumination and trauma and insecurities, and it's constantly mistaking distraction for a form of healing. 

But it’s also where the parts of myself I really like live. The parts I pull from to build a life I’m happy in. The ones that make me feel like a whole person who's truly present, for herself and others, in ways that feel purposeful and satisfying. 

And somewhere, in the middle of all that joy and grief, is where my creative self also lives. Only problem is, these past few years, it’s been mostly trying to survive.

So the other night, when I actually thought that I wanted to stay in my brain a while, it felt amazing. Peaceful. Not calm, but at peace. Like I could finally accept where I’m at mentally while acknowledging that I still have a lot of work to do. 

After all, I can’t create a nurturing space for myself if I’m not willing to spend time inside of it. 

So these emails will be an experiment of sorts. A way for me to reclaim my headspace, thoughts and creativity. I don’t know if these emails will completely replace social media for me, but my hope is that they’ll let me retreat, when and for however long I need to, so I can find a more balanced relationship with being online. 

To be clear, this isn’t about me tuning out the world (quite the opposite). I just don’t see how I can play any meaningful part in it if I’m completely out of tune with myself.

The reason I’m calling this newsletter one true thing is because I purposely won’t be sharing random thoughts, or lots of details about my life, or an endless stream of updates (but check the bottom for bookish news because I do still plan on sharing those!).

I miss letting my thoughts and ideas simmer. I miss holding them close until I’m ready to make something of them. I hope those things will not only be book-shaped soon, but also moments-shaped. Life-shaped. 

And every so often, when one true thing I’m compelled to share arises, it’ll be email-shaped. 

Thanks for being here,

Natalia

news, etc.

March 1 & 2, I’ll be at the Southwest Florida Reading Festival in Fort Meyers, FL to discuss and sign Breathe and Count Back from Ten. The event is free!

A Maleta Full of Treasures, my debut picture book illustrated by Juana Medina, will be out April 16th in both English and Spanish, but you can pre-order now:

Preorder the English Version: https://bit.ly/3OqDM9A

Preorder the Spanish Version: https://bit.ly/42m2VaX

books I’ve written